New Year

We stayed up kind of late last night drinking herbal tea. John squeezed a clementine into his cup while he told me the story behind this french song we were listening to. We watched the finale of a show on the Food Network we've been outrageously enjoying (outrageously involving mimicking scenes in our own kitchen, laughing like..too hard? at a cooking show? etc) and then spent some time reading and writing. It was a weird night where it felt like we were two children, delighted in each others' presence, who just discovered we could stay up past ten. Good note to end the week on.

I'm not going to pretend like the phrase "New Year" truly, honestly indicates I've been blogging for a year, overcome a full year of some sort of turmoil, or completed a years worth of some sort of better habit. But, I'm also completely open to the reality that this bizarre experience each year of watching the date turn significantly in numbers could be important, necessary, or at least a refreshing chance to take inventory of ones' life, decide some new things, and try to be a better human. Yeah, it gets kind of embarrassing how often we all try to act like January is the time we're finally gonna become perfect. But, any time the world collectively experiences a desire to better themselves isn't going to be something I'll turn my nose up at.

Blog Related 2015 Goals:

-continue to be myself (not trying any of those weird blog techniques that aren't me..I feel I bordered on that a bit in a couple of posts)

-challenge myself (in 2015 you will see a couple of writing series on specific subjects, more consistent themes, and LET'S HOPE some better titles. Cause what the crap.)

-better photography (see below)

Life Related 2015 Goals:

-successfully get published SOMEWHERE (a blog that no one reads will do) as a freelance writer.

-have a real plan regarding dashed hopes and dreams as a wish-to-be designer

-pick back up at crafting our house into a home. someone come over and force me to hang our clothes up in closets (mom I know you're very close to doing this)

-that's all you get to know about (cue my current favorite emoji with a sly slanty smile)

In photography related news, we just spent our third married Christmas together. Still trying to figure out how to make Christmasses ours, though I insist that despite inconsistencies, any Christmas being John's wife is nearly perfect. We spent our Christmas on a train, and then in Florida with my dear, incredible grandmother who I now think of daily, remembering her big tears and dwelling more and more on her life at a Scotswoman turned American. Because we were traveling and due to annoying financial responsibilities, John didn't get his Christmas present until a few days ago. We never got a tree. John insisted he'd surprise me though, and he insisted I'd open something for Christmas. On my birthday (a few days before Christmas) I opened a beautiful small camera box, with a letter. Turns out sometimes all you have to do to get your way is write about things you want on your blog. JUST KIDDING. I really don't think that. But seriously, the letter made me cry and was a beautifully thoughtful gift. Here's hoping you and I will both benefit, granting us better photos.

I'm not really sure how you all feel about this space I've created. I know in times it's inspired me and kept me warm at night. I know it's also been confusing, sometimes overwhelming, or just hard. For both of us, I want it to be better. I realized very very recently that I deeply desire to become a designer, but that isn't what my life needs to be solely subscribed to. I've always been a writer. I forgot, and then when I realized, I didn't think it mattered. Writing matters, and I also really like it. So although I'd love to use this blog as a place to develop an aesthetically pleasing journal and hopefully find some important kindred friends through it, it doesn't have to be just that, and it's not going to be. I am going to write, and it's going to be real.

I realize this is collection of photographs of just me. I thought for a brief post it was time I sit in the front of the camera for a second, specifically for Porridge and Pine, and look at you all. Below that is what I'm doing. I'm looking at you, and I'm hoping you know I think about you and wonder what you need to read. This is me. I am a writer, and I'm looking at you.